Friday, January 31, 2014

12 Steps to Self Care - Japan style!

I was on social media the other day when one of my friends posted an image with the following 12 steps to living a happier life.
  1. If it feels wrong, don't do it
  2. Say exactly what you mean
  3. Don't be a people pleaser
  4. Trust your instincts
  5. Never speak bad about yourself
  6. Never give up on your dreams
  7. Don't be afraid to say no
  8. Don't be afraid to say yes
  9. Be kind to yourself
  10. Let go of what you can't control
  11. Stay away from drama and negativity
  12. LOVE
What struck me after reading it was how culturally subjective many parts of this list really are, and how little this kind of thinking would fly in Japanese society. So, for your viewing pleasure, and with no particular empirical data to back this up, here is my tongue-in-cheek 12 Steps to Self Care list - JAPAN STYLE!

  1. If it feels wrong, endure it stoically and don't make waves
  2. Never say exactly what you mean, it's too direct
  3. Be a people pleaser, others before self
  4. Don't trust your instincts, always ask for advice and find out the proper way of behaving
  5. Always speak badly about yourself, be humble
  6. Give up on your dreams and sacrifice yourself for another
  7. Never say no, say what others expect you to say
  8. Never say yes, say what others expect you to say
  9. Be kind to others, be hard on yourself
  10. If you can't control it, you need more rules and paperwork
  11. Do not cause drama or negativity
  12. LOVE, but not in public...don't even say the word out loud

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Proctoring the National University Entrance Examination (センター試験)

This year for the first time I have to proctor the national test high school students take to enter university. This test is being done at my school among others and requires a ridiculous amount of training and absorption of information to do correctly.

If you are a non-Japanese teacher of foreign descent, then you will probably find this a bewildering and frightening experience if you are asked to do this at all. Generally, foreign teachers are spared this task, but just in case you are like me and not spared, this post will hopefully help you sort through the piles and piles of documents you will receive outlining the procedures of the examination.

You will likely be called into a meeting that lasts all day, breaking only for lunch, where a member of the administration staff speaks in very rapid Japanese in a general way about the test, our roles, and what we can expect. It is a bit bewildering, but do your best to follow along. Thankfully, they show a helpful series of videos.

The test rules booklet is the thickness of a Sony television's operation manual and about as easy to understand. Of course the book is entirely in kanji, which I can't read well. It would take a Japanese person a week to go through this thing! Considering my dismal reading speed, I would have probably required a year or two to get through it if not for my fabulous, but crazy husband who is in love with kanji and read it for me while I took furious notes.

Here is some of that manual explained in a general fashion. The specific step-by-step procedures would be too long to fill out, but I do have a couple of Word documents with the test directions written out in English for anyone who really wants them. Leave a comment with your email address and I'll send them to you.

Unless you are a desperate foreign teacher living in Japan who can't read kanji well and who must proctor this test, then you should probably just stop reading now. Then again, this is pretty dry stuff, so if you are having trouble sleeping this might be just the thing for you.

General Information on the Test

It lasts two days and it's conducted over the weekend in January. Students must take a barrage of examinations on various subjects all day Saturday and most of Sunday. The amount of organization required to give pretty much every high school student in the country their examination on the same day is mind boggling in my opinion, but it seems to come off without a hitch for the most part. However, please be aware that TV news shows like to talk about any university where the test was flubbed or something bad happened. So, make sure you take this seriously as the "honour" of your university may be at stake.

Also, the university entrance examination is the MOST important test a student will take in their lives in Japan. It determines their future to an arguably large extent as the Japanese hiring system is still very clannish in some ways. For example, a very large number of government employees come from one or two specific universities. Getting into a high-ranked university is very important to some students. All the rules, while they might seem ridiculous or at the very least overwhelming to someone who is not used to them, are there in order to ensure fairness by making sure that every student in the country has the exact same examination conditions as far as possible. So, make sure you make an effort to do it correctly.

If you don't have a plain watch with hands (i.e. not digital) then buy one as there will probably not be a clock in your examination room. Also, it's best to avoid bringing anything with an alarm on it into the examination room.

An important consideration is that you cannot leave the room while you are proctoring. Better to be a couple of minutes late then have to hold in explosive diarrhea for 90 minutes. In other words, go to the bathroom before and stay away from coffee.

Roles

The most basic thing you should know is that there are different roles assigned to each teacher. The head proctor (HP) is in charge of making sure the examination is done smoothly, in the correct order, following the appropriate guidelines, and with clockwork precision. They give all the directions to the students out loud. Since I am not a native-speaker of the Japanese language, I was fortunate to be spared the role of HP. However, the Japanese itself is very repetitive, so it's not that difficult to get the hang of it if you are unfortunately chosen to be the HP.

Aside form the HP, there is a proctor with the role of timekeeper (TK). The TK is responsible for making sure the HP is following the test's schedule. All proctors should sink their watches so that everyone has the same time, ideally down to the second (no really). Students MUST receive the full time they are allotted and not one second less. Therefore, obviously, time must be kept to the second. It says that specifically in the manual. The HP and the TK are provided with stop watches to ensure that level of precision.

There are sometimes other helpers if there are many students in the room. Their job is to assist in distributing booklets, etc. and supervising the students.

Finally, there is the "Contact Person". As I mentioned, proctors cannot leave the examination room, so this person waits outside the room to take students to the bathroom, to receive forms from the proctors, to communicate any problems to and from the proctors, etc.

In a bit more of a Big Brother-style, the proctors are also responsible for watching the HP and making sure s/he doesn't mess up! If the HP messes up, they must commit ritual suicide with a special sword in front of all students. (not really)

While the examination proceeds, you must follow along in your manual and check off each direction that the proctor gives to the students. This is in order to make sure that all directives for the examination have been given. You will be required to cross-check with other proctors that all directives have been given, so if you can't follow along, just do your best and check-mark as many as you can.

Concerning the timing of the examinations, you should know the following for each exam. All the times below, except number 1, are written in your manual and you should bring your manual to every test. Verify:

1. When and where your proctoring group members will gather before the examination to double-check their materials and to get any information about test conditions (E.g. if a student is ill, if the local trains, buses aren't running, etc). This is in a place called 本部 (honbu). It varies from university to university so ask a colleague.
2. The start and end times of the examination.
3. The start, end, and duration of the answering portion of the test (i.e. the part of the test where the students are writing down their answers and not the explanation part of the test).
4. All the examinations have a cut-off time after which, late students are not allowed to take the test. Find out your lateness limit.


Below are some useful vocabulary. If you can't read basic kanji at the very least, you shouldn't be proctoring this examination. Tell your colleague that you cannot proctor at this time. Personally, I can’t read kanji that well (I'm maybe somewhere around 漢検 level N3) so there were a few words that I was unsure of how to pronounce, or only knew a different way of expressing. The list below is not exhaustive by any means, but it is the very minimum that you must memorize.

- A student taking the examinations is called a 受験者 (じゅけんしゃ)
- A proctor is called a 監督者 (かんとくしゃ)
- The head quarters of the test in your school, where you collect your materials, and who you report any problems to is called 本部 (ほんぶ)
- The booklet that has the test questions in it is called the 問題冊子 (もんだいさっし)
- Their answer sheet where the students fill in their choices is called a 解答用紙 (かいとうようし)
- The word "directive" is used all the time. It's 指示 (しじ)
- Lateness limit after which students cannot enter 遅刻限度 (じこくげんど)
- Beginning of test answering period 解答開始 (かいとうかいし)
- End of test answering period 解答終了 (かいとうしゅうりょう)
- Distribution 配付 (はいふ)
- Collection 回収 (かいしゅう)

Each examination has its own directives to follow. Most of them are fairly similar, so once you have done one test, you can do the others without much trouble. However, the listening examination is different from the others mainly because once the test has begun, the proctors cannot speak and therefore, they must use a couple of forms that students point to in case of trouble.

Written Test Forms

There are about a half-a-dozen forms, but usually the head proctor fills them out and deals with them. The names of the most common forms that non-head proctors have to know are:
- “Test-taker condition survey form” (A and B versions) 受験状況調査票 (じゅけんじょうきょうちょうさひょう) Regular proctors only have to worry about B because at some point during each test (varies with test) you need to send Form B to the test headquarters (本部).
- “Improper behaviour notification document” 不正行為通告書 (ふせいこういつうこくしょ) Also called a yellow card. This is to indicate to students that they are cheating or doing something else so wrong that they must stop their test immediately and leave. There is a white version of this that is only a warning.
- “Booklet distribution order confirmation paper” 問題冊子等配付確認表 (もんだいさっしとうはいふかくにんひょう). Your head proctor will probably fill this out.

Listening Test Forms

Once the test explanation is over and the answering period has begun, you cannot talk to students, nor they to you, out loud in case the noise interferes with other students' examinations. Because of this, there is a somewhat complicated rigmarole of forms to deal with.

If a student raises their hand during the “absolutely no-talky” time, you show them the “trouble confirmation form”. トラブル確認票 (とらぶるかくにんひょう). They will circle their problem.
After they have circled their problem, you must respond using the “communication memo” 連絡メモ (れんらくめも). You can choose from the various selections that are already there or write your own response by hand. There are various procedures to follow depending on the problem and it would take too long to write them all out here. However, the central test authority gives out a handy video that you can watch. Even if you don’t understand the Japanese, you can still get an idea of how to behave in a listening test and respond to any problems that might come up.

The students have personal listening devices called IC Players. If these IC Players malfunction, you need to exchange them and fill out some forms. If they malfunction before the answering time has begun, just swap them and fill out “the machine collection survey form” 回収機器調査票 (かいしゅうききちょうさひょう). However, the real pain in the bum is if they malfunction during the "no-talky" answering period. Find out the problem using the “trouble form” above and then you have to give the student three forms. The first is the “incident processing form” 事故処理票 (じこしょりひょう), the second is the “re-take examination confirmation form” 再開確認票 (さいかいかくにんひょう), and finally, the same as above the “machine collection survey form”.

There’s a lot more to know, but the above information is the basic knowledge that will help you have an idea of your role as a proctor for the central examination.

Good luck!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Ode to the Squat Toilet

WARNING: This post contains descriptions of natural, but not altogether pleasant biological functions.



Anyone who has ever spent any substantial time in Japan will have experienced the dreaded squat toilet. I have heard people praise the humble squat because they seem to reduce instances of haemorrhoids. Alas, I haven’t any haemorrhoids to relieve, so I cannot look too kindly upon these historical bastions of Japanese toilet culture. However, my current place of work, being in an old building, has absolutely no western-style toilets on my floor. Yes, I could walk several minutes to another toilet on another floor, but these toilets are for the students and it’s a bit embarrassing to make tinkle noises in the hearing of someone you will have to teach in an hour.

Therefore, the squat and I have become well-acquainted with each other lately and I have thought to myself that I would have really appreciated someone telling me some tricks on how to use them properly.

Usually, the casual traveller in Japan will have a choice of toilet types. Most tourist areas will have western-style toilets with toilet seats. If you cannot find one or if they are all full, a good tip is to look for a disabled-friendly bathroom. (Usually has a wheelchair-icon sticker) These toilets are all western style.

Women in particular hate squats because we can’t aim and tend to mess, so many women tourists and foreigners living in Japan avoid them. However, sometimes you are stuck using a squat toilet and you can’t wait. So, here is some advice on the subtle and unappreciated art form of the lowly squat.

How to Arrange Your Clothing
If you’re wearing pants (trousers for our UK/Australian friends)
Undo them and push down both your pants and underwear together to a bit below mid-thigh. Hook your thumbs under the waist material so that your fingers are free, but your pants/underwear won’t fall. (Trust me when I say the floors of squat toilets are exceedingly foul 99% of the time.) Once you have a secure grip with your thumbs only, using your fingers, reach and grab the material of your pants at the knee or just below. Pull up your pant legs until the hem of the pants is at least 2 inches (10 cm) away from the ground. Why is this necessary? You will splatter and shoes are easier to wipe off than pants.

If you’re wearing a skirt:
Pull the material around your waist and then forward, gathering all loose material near your stomach. You must make sure the back of your skirt is not loose enough to dip in the water or…heaven forbid…be tinkled on.

Positioning Your Feet and Squatting:
Once your skirt is safely in front of you or your hem is nice and high, now you have to know where to place your feet. Considering the North-South axis, your feet should be a bit more North than South to allow room for your behind to be safely within the confines of the squat. A common mistake is to stand with your feet quite close to the porcelain of the squat. You should actually stand with your feet a bit further away from the sides of the bowl. This is again to avoid splattering on yourself (shoes this time since your hem should already be safely hiked), and also to allow for a deeper squat position. Keeping your bum closer to the toilet = less mess. Once your legs are positioned at a safer distance, squat down as low as you can without touching the cold, cold toilet with your delicate behind. You should make sure you are well centered above the bowl and not too far front/back/left or right. Once fully squatted, you should feel frog-like with your legs open, completely bent at the knee. The material of your pants/skirt should now be bunched tightly and should not fall down if you let go. Do what you like with your arms, I tend to rest them on my knees, but if you feel a bit unsteady, you can keep a hand on the wall for balance.

Ideal Squat Position, Except...without pants

Number 1 – A Woman’s Guide
Men have urinals, so this part is mainly for our female readers.
We western females are used to just letting all our stream go violently in a rush of watery satisfaction. However, the squat is an Asian toilet. It comes from the same continent as foot binding and 12-layer kimonos. Therefore, you must exercise restraint when letting loose. You should strive for a moderate flow speed, neither too fast nor too slow. Try peeing as you would imagine the Queen of England would pee if she had to do so in public (i.e. in as stately and dignified a manner as possible).

A point to keep in mind:
There’s a bit of water in the squat, so if you are aiming correctly, you should hear the happy sound of water falling into water. If you don’t hear that, and/or the sound is muted, you are probably peeing on the floor. Wiggle your bum a bit and try again until you get your aim right. Leaning forward a bit can help you pee straight down. The challenge is to avoid “freedom pee”. This is an obnoxious urine type that refuses to behave in a traditional manner following the laws of gravity. Making a dash down your butt cheek, freedom pee then leaps to the floor with reckless independence.

The Big One – Number 2:
For both men and women, number 2 on a squat is a very chancy thing. If you are the kind of person who eats healthily and has a high fibre diet, then perhaps your squat experience will always be a pleasant one.

However, if you’ve ever had the…ahem…green apple splatters, or perchance your chocolate is a bit more like the Aero brand of chocolate bar (i.e. with bubbles); you, my friend, will need to take care when using a squat.

As explained above lift your hem (watch your skirt), place your feet at a safe distance, and squat as low as possible. Next get as close as you can to the faucet/flush of the toilet. Don’t worry if your clothes touch it, they are usually not too dirty and trust me, it’s better than the alternative. Again, don’t just let her rip, but try for a more moderate speed.

A point to keep in mind:
If you feel a Niagara Falls-like flow brewing below, then a good trick is to turn and face in the opposite direction. The squat is raised a bit at the front near the flush, and that can act as a barrier to…well you get the idea.

As always, be kind and tidy up in case of mess.