Monday, February 16, 2015

Japan's Saint-Valentine's Day Tradition


Japan has a curious take on Valentine's Day. While in most of the world, Valentine's Day has been traditionally a day for men to show women that they care about them through a variety of methods, in Japan it is a bit different.

For one thing, there are two kinds of chocolates made by women in Japan. Honmei and giri chocolates. Honmei chocolates are given by a girl/woman to a person she is romantically interested in. By giving her crush chocolates, she confesses her attraction to the person. However, here is the tricky part, getting chocolates doesn't necessarily mean a girl likes you because there's also the second type of chocolates - giri chocolates. Giri chocolates are chocolates given to your friends, co-workers, classmates, etc. who have helped you throughout the year. It's a kind of pay-back, or thanks for services rendered. Hence the term giri - or "obligation" chocolate.

The trick is determining if the chocolates you are receiving are honmei (YAY!) or giri (Boo!). Honmei chocolates are usually expensive and bought in a store. If hand-made, it will be obvious the girl put a lot of time into them. Whereas, giri chocolates are usually just made simply. However, the lady in question might just be really bad at making chocolates...so what then??? Sometimes a very direct girl will include the word "giri" on her chocolates like the photo above just to be clear she doesn't have any romantic interest. Most times, though, it can be tough to figure out without any other kind of confirmation.

For young boys and girls in Junior and Senior high school, Valentine's Day can be a day of high tension. For the girl, do you confess to the the person you like? What if they reject your chocolates?!? For hetero guys, what if the girl you like doesn't confess to you? OR, what if a girl you DON'T like confesses to you? Single adults also sometimes use Valentine's Day to confess to the person they like. Addtitionally, it's a common story arc in TV dramas, where the lady protagonist likes a person, but can't bring herself to give them chocolates.

One month later, men who receive chocolates (sorry Japan is still pretty hetero-normative) are supposed to buy something, usually cookies, and give them as a gift to anyone who gave them chocolates, whether the man likes the person romantically or not. I can imagine if you are a popular, yet not particularly rich young person without a job, this can be a difficult time.

I think confessing to the person you like is a really stressful thing regardless of your age, and having a defined day and method with which to do it might be helpful when you're young. I definitely think Valentine's Day is more interesting in Japan; especially as a teacher I have a great seat to watch the drama unfold.